Saturday, September 7, 2013

The Mirror

I could finally look at my reflection in the mirror and not measure and re- measure the space between my thighs.
But the mirror on the inside- the one whose reflection always measured my worthiness was cracked. And so, like the jagged, little images you see of yourself when the mirror breaks- I could never get all the pieces to add up to self love. I could never stop measuring and re- measuring my self worth.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Born an Alien

This is indeed only my opinion but as for myself I believe I was born with that Anorexic Alien gene. It just lay dormant until I was 18 just waiting to explode. I was always on the outside looking in- All My Life. Even now- I was always the Leper and still am in ways. Never accepted. So after a traumatic event I turned on myself and found acceptance in controlling every bite of food that went into or did not go into my mouth. Anie accepted me even as she destroyed me.

A little Breeze

Sometimes that melancholy that is always there with Anorexia will come floating back in- like a little breeze. You think it is gone yet it has never left completely. That sadness that says, " You can't stop the losses."
You can be doing Anything- sweeping the floor, brushing your teeth- and that little breeze will float through. All that is ever unchangeable is more change.