Don't Tell Me

Don't tell me what I weigh. I don't want a number in my head. I have clothes that I like and they fit--so don't give me a number. There was this nurse at in my bone doctor's clinic that was needing to make people feel as bad as she did so she told me one day. She said, ''Well, If I weighed blahblah I wouldn't care if someone told me.'' It was kind of like being pushed down an elevator shaft. It is HARD to deal with a number that you left a LOOOOOOONG time back. A number that meant No control.That I would have held Death's hand to stay away from. But I did deal with it. I didn't lunge screaming from the building to go run laps. I just took my head and said,''Thank you, Patti. WHAT DO YOU WEIGH?'' A lot more than several billion recovering Anorexics. Was that a tiny spark of control?