Monday, February 20, 2012

The 4am Follies

I remember seeing this greeting card that said, ''The Best Friends Are the Ones You Can Call At 4am.'' I could always call Anie at 4am. She never told me to fuck off. I was always up in the dead of night. Exercising, Worrying, Being so desperately sad. Usually all of them at the same time. I had neuritis in my face and foot nerves -caused by vitamin B deficiency- it was that excruciating throb of nerve pain and if I tried to sleep it would always wake me up. I worried about that cartoon contest that I hadn't won, I worried that my dog, Sprite, might get off the leash at the park and be killed ( I had a recurring nightmare of calling Sprite's name at the park and seeing blood on the snow), I worried that I was failing at everything and there wasn't a damn thing that I could do about Anie. She would never, ever not pick up. She would tell me in that silent voice, ''Go exercise---the windchill is below zero--go walk -- you'll have control, security, peace.  Keep your mind on your calories--that's where you have the power. No one can take that from you--you can take yourself away from them.'' So I did. Anie was my Best friend in the whole world--I could ALWAYS call her at 4am.

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