No Escape

Eventually, I could barely walk. I had neuritis in my feet due to vitamin B deficiency. No padding left on the bottom of my feet so when they hit the ground those inflamed nerves sent pain out into my toes and up my legs. I tried to keep going---I wore TWO pairs of arch supports under each foot, cramming in cotton balls down the sides of my tennis shoes--anything to get away from the pain and keep going. Such an incredible comparison to my Anorexic life. I went to the podiatrist and had my feet ''strapped''. This stretchy material wrapped around my arches was like magic for 2 days--then it would loosen. My feet--one of my strongest allies in my war--were abandoning me. ''Abandon''-- that word almost typed itself. It is at the top of the list for every Anorexic. Abandonment is always close by--like the way the sun follows you when you're in a car. ANYTHING to insulate from more loss and keep going--another pound--another hour of running. I could never, ever escape it.