Maze of Loss

The constant repetition of loss and rejection became like a maze of spider webs in my life. They stuck to me--I could try to bat them away but they kept coming and sticking and coming and sticking. In that darkness--Anorexia held out her hand. ''I'll give you something that will stay with you, sweet girl--starvation.'' And I was such a sweet girl--there is something so keenly sensitive in the soul of all Anorexics. Life hits you differently. We are truly from another planet. The pain of this world overwhelms us. Yet we struggle so to try to make it work until the only arms that reach for us belong to Anie. Sometimes that old feeling of LOSS comes creeping back--falling into that deep, black, sad pit of remembering what is gone. My old spider webs--after all this time--they are still spun with steel.