Swallowing at 5:08

Starting at 5pm SHARP every night --I ate dinner. Not one second before, not one after. On the launching pad at five I waited with a rock solid self control. I took the first bite at promptly 5:08pm--the next at 5:10. Eating only on the even minutes and ALWAYS finishing by 5:28. It made my fruit cocktail-mixed-with-bran-cereal dinner last as long as I possibly could make it last. But in order to be worthy enough to have food--I could not gobble it down--Anie told me, ''You wanna eat? These are the rules.'' My wretched self was so hungry that I had to watch tv while eating --to distract myself and follow Anie's commands. I watched reruns of ''The Andy Griffith Show''.  ''Barney Fife'' never broke a date with me--he was always there. Good ol' Barn. On the even minutes I could eat and he even made me laugh. No matter how funny the episode though -- I always had a bit of wistfulness--a bit of sadness when I ate--a kind of longing for an unreachable security. I remember sometimes those old sitcom episodes even made me cry. In particular an episode where Andy says to Barney, ''Do the tears on your pillow bespeak the pain that's in your heart?'' Barney nods his head and Andy says,''Yeah, me too.'' I hear ya, Andy. But I have to haul ass and burn off these calories.